Friday, February 15, 2008

The Hollywood Issue- Ads!

It's big, it's beautiful, it's the Hollywood Issue! Weighing in at 8,579 pounds and finding the first article on page 637, it is indeed impressive.

Ok, so there are as usual a ton of ads. I'm actually not annoyed by them- I like breaking them down. Sometimes I *love* breaking them down. Thusly:

Estee Lauder ad: what's up with the 80s makeup these days? Is it me, or are there more people sporting the black eyeliner + red lips + pink blush + red nails look these days? It has got to stop. I love a good flashback as much as the next person but COME ON. Pick a great era!

Gucci ad: I'm not in favor of thick straps on shoes. In fact, this is another sad trend I'm noticing. Shoes are going chunky, and not in that fun 90s Jeanine Garofalo way. It's weird chunky (and I meant it to sound as gross as that sounds). Gucci isn't the only victim...

...Dior ad: All right, we've got full on 80s makeup, graceless chunkster shoes AND shoulder pads to boot! I can see how the designer might have been thinking 'these shoulders are so *courtly*! And so strong!' Or not- who knows, maybe they're thinking 'Let's recreate the ugly ugly Reagan era everyone is talking about-- let's do that black/red thing!' In that case, it totally worked.

Saks: yawn. I mean, it's nice to yawn after the Dior assault. But still, yawn. Please note the funkdified chunky heeled shoes.

Armani: digging on the black micromini, although I'm all done with the scales.

Prada: ah, Prada. Graceful, light and ethereal? Or are you creeped out by the way all Prada models look related? (I mean, from other Prada ads- I know these aren't triplets. Or are they? Prada- designer genetic engineering! And isn't that a hot mess of a topic I'm not getting into on this blog!)

St. John: oh, Angelina. You are far too young and glamorous for the frump that is St. John. Remember that St. John model from some years back, with the short hair? She will always be the St. John model to me. I am not even someone who's ever subscribed to a fashion mag, and she's that iconic even to me.

Chanel: I usually don't go for that style of sunglasses, but I totally totally would purchase that beautiful pair. They're sleek but not aggressively so. And the logo on the side is so much more tasteful than the ridiculously large DG and Fendi ones I've seen around.

Bottega Veneta: Here we are, sitting on our fine grained leather couch in this fabulously bare and shabby looking apartment. But the fourth wall is missing! We know you're there, dear audience, watching us with as much interest as we're watching the paint on the third wall dry.

Clinique: so labby!

Burberry: oh, those crazy Brits. They're so cool and androgynous. Wait- there it is again! The thick strap on the high heeled open-toe shoe, except this one is elastic and paired with black socks. That is how cool Burberry is- they can do that! They can get away with it! Or maybe, they think they can and it's as wrong as ever. You be the judge!

Yurman: and on the next page, Kate celebrates her Burberry exodus with a chunky ring. The model on the next page is like "Darn! I'm all chained up and wet! SIGH!" I am not into David Yurman jewelry.

Balenciaga: Oh how I laughed...

ok, you get the point. The ads are entertainment. I'm definitely not interested in buying- or even coveting- the wares they peddle. But they do provide rich fodder for comments!