wistful

I had my postpartum appointment today, which wraps up my hospital visits in connection with this last pregnancy.

Although the appointment went well, I felt a little sad and wistful. This is the end of an era, so to speak, since we're planning to have just two. The last postpartum appointment seems to mark that with such finality.

Maybe I'm just feeling wistful that pregnancy is over and postpartum is coming to an end, because I associate those times with feeling (if not being) liberated from outside concerns. Not that things like work and family didn't affect me, because of course they do! But just that I allowed myself to really honor my own priorities without guilt. Priorities that ranged from my health, happiness, my babies' health and happiness to my career, to D's career. I let my priorities shift as I saw fit, instead of feeling constrained by what others wanted or might have (or might not have) thought.

This is, I suppose, something I can continue. That was a great gift of pregnancy for me, to feel free to live life just exactly as I felt was most healthy for me at that moment. Now I just have to work harder to hold onto that lesson/gift -- without being pregnant! But what a wonderful lesson/gift. I do think this is one way, of many, that pregnancy and parenthood changed me for the better.