Monday, November 07, 2005

It's so funny to be newly married and thinking of getting pregnant. We're almost four months married and before meeting the Mr., I never longed to be pregnant or be a mother or anything. I was, however, a labor coach (aka "doula") because I wanted to do volunteer work for low-income women in our area who didn't have partners or families to be with them. It was incredibly rewarding and I loved it. But people asked (rather, declared) that I must want kids and love babies to do that work. Actually, I liked making a difference to the women and being helpful to people who were so often alone in a challenging situation. (But the greatest compliment I received was when women I was coaching would ask if I was a mother/had kids- it made me feel like they thought I had some skills at the coaching thing, which was nice!)

But after meeting my husband, I wanted to have kids. It's a surprising shift, and fun. I feel so lucky to have been a labor coach in the Bay Area, because I know there's a great circle of women around here who are excellent support during pregnancy and postpartum. It's just fabulous to be in a place where motherhood is so empowered. (Though with many workplaces unfriendly to parental leave and flextime, this country is way less family friendly and mother friendly than it purports to be.)

We're starting to put thought into planning- it's a bit daunting but also inspiring and fun. I'm looking forward to, in a couple of quick years, meeting local moms my age. D and I are already writing a journal to our future kids- sharing a lot of those "I wish I knew this when I was your age" thoughts, anticipation and love for them, and having fun with this record of our pre-parenting thoughts on parenting. :)