Monday, July 31, 2006

babymoon and birthday bbq!

These are recent pictures from my birthday bbq and babymoons (and the first is a general growing belly shot). Our mini babymoons in Santa Barbara and Mendocino were absolutely beautiful. It was wonderful to be by the gorgeous ocean, wonderful to relax, and most of all it was wonderful to spend time with my husband. I love him so much. I feel really blessed to be with someone who is so completely committed to our relationship, to parenthood, to creating a beautiful life together. Our kid is lucky. :)

I think I'm a California coast kind of person. I love the vegetation, from the chaparral to the amazing redwoods. I love how the redwoods grow in groups to hold each other up. I love the ocean and the mountains so close to each other. And maybe this doesn't have to do necessarily with the coast... but the eating is So. Incredibly. Good here!

I'm going to visit my sister in western Mass soon and I can't wait! We're going to visit Vermont, of which I've had romantic notions forever. Everyone I've met from Vermont is lovely.

Monday, July 24, 2006


Well, the third trimester has started with a grand and glorious introduction to the World of Cankles. I have been shocked, shocked the past two days at the state of my feet. Shocked being relative, of course, because what's shocking is what's happening in the Middle East. But when you see your body doing something unexpected, it can really take you aback. Thus, I can't look at my feet without being a little appalled. I've never been unable to see the bones in my feet and ankles, and very suddenly they're gone. Sigh.

A pregnancy board pal made me laugh when she wrote "Welcome to the canklemester!" For sure.

Anyone have tips on handling sciatica? Anyone? This is fairly recent for me, though lower back pain has been with me this whole time pretty much. Ah well. I *am* enjoying the kicks and movement.

And I swear we're going to make this one bedroom work, at least for a few months. We're converting our dining nook as a nursery. Then we're going to make our coffee table convertible into a dining table by creating removable legs. We'll have two dining chairs in the room and store two chairs in the garage. That way the living space doubles as a dining space without being too crowded (ie with a coffee table *and* dining table *and* chairs.)

October is coming fast!

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

on marriage and parenthood

Sorry about the cranky post about The Time Traveler's Wife. I abandoned the effort since it was due at the library and I did regret not being able to plow through it, but I couldn't find the inspiration to prioritize it. But I am looking forward to Until I Find You. I've begun it and so far it's classic John Irving, which means the characters hit the ground running with strong personalities, quirky backstories and insatiably interesting relationships. And, not inconsequentially, good dialogue. Writing good dialogue is a hallmark of a greatly talented writer, to me.

But this post is on marriage and parenthood! I had a revelation today. I saw that:

1. Marriage is a relationship in which I prioritize my partner and our relationship.
2. This is the commitment people are often afraid of before entering marriage.
3. For me, this commitment has not limited who I am but made me feel more free, more who I am. It may mean that I share my car, or take into account his schedule when making plans, or put off something I wanted to do so that we can do something else together. Somehow this doesn't feel constraining but beautiful and fulfilling. And fun!
4. Parenthood is about making a similar commitment, but with even more selflessness because the little person cannot be an equal partner.
5. So perhaps engaging in this relationship which calls for such selflessness also provides deep measures of self-fulfillment, as in marriage. Just as people sometimes fear the commitment of marriage because it's hard to see the benefits past the fear of "am I going to lose my sense of self?!", maybe the fear of parenthood stems from not seeing the amazing rewards of the relationship-- the personal growth and development, as well as the connections with a larger community.

Anyhoo- those are just some thoughts that I found helpful today.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

shmime shmaveler's shmife

I am reading The Time Traveler's Wife for a book club. I don't like this book at all.

Some writers have an effortless elegance. Some can make me laugh out loud, and a very few can bring me to tears. Maybe Audrey Niffenegger is one of them, but this book is definitely not the one to showcase any of that talent, if she has it.

The writing is so clumsy. There are actually parts where it says "would of" instead of "would have." The main characters are boring and sometimes are asses. It feels like drudge work getting around to how the love story develops. It's just not a very well-crafted book. And I still have to get through all five hundred plus pages for a book club.

I can't wait to dive more deeply into John Irving's latest, Until I Find You. I've just begun it, and it's already promising in an Irving way. Ever since I first read A Prayer for Owen Meany, I've loved this writer who so masterfully reveals his stories. It's such a pleasure! There are few things better to me than being in the hands of a good storyteller.